Will He Ever Propose?
Q:My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. We’re in love and we’ve talked about getting married, but it’s been months since that talk and he still hasn’t proposed yet. What can I do to help “encourage” him to take the next step and propose? I feel like I’m jumping out of my skin! I want him to DO SOMETHING!!
~Lindsay from Plano, Texas
A:If only you and I could hold hands and “whooosaaah” (a calming chant used in the movie Bad Boys II). Lindsay, what you’re feeling appears to be some impatience mixed with a pinch of anxiety, and that’s certainly not the ideal recipe to encourage your boyfriend to take your next step. Yes, I said it. It makes sense that the logical next step after having the marriage talk with your boyfriend is a proposal, but I caution you to not rush this process. Just because you are ready to be engaged right now doesn’t necessarily mean your boyfriend is ready.
If you both are on the same page (by eventually wanting to be married to each other) and are in a serious, loving, and committed relationship, I highly recommend that you allow his proposal to happen organically, and keep enjoying your relationship. Keep making memories with your #Boyiance (what I call a man that is more than a boyfriend but not exactly a fiance… yet) and keep supporting each other’s dreams and goals.
Don’t Push. Enjoy Your Relationship!
Ask yourself if it’s marriage you’re so eager to have, or if you’re really really super eager to start planning your wedding. The source of your desire for him to take the next step could expose where your priorities are. I’m not one to judge! Your reason is your reason – and weddings are super fun, which is why I plan them!
When you’re feeling this way remember to breathe, very slowly, and try to avoid taking any actions while your emotions and nerves are high. A frustrated comment to your boyfriend could lead to an argument and no one wins in that situation. And pushing him to move things along or dropping a subtle (or not-so-subtle) ultimatum could backfire. I ask you to give it more time, and when he does pop the question, I’ll be happy dancing with you while we’re planning your wedding!
Keeping calm in the eye of your emotional anguish takes skill… now #ThatsSensiblyChic!